TF

TF#6 Donovan

Name: Donovan Grrrrrrrrregory Bartlett

Nickname: Sen. Shorty McGee

Number of Jumps: more than ten, and counting

Number of Tandems: 400+

Number of Tandems who were under 6'5”, less than 250lbs: 27

Licenses: D, TM, CDL, License to Ill (temporarily suspended for improper use)

Gear: Overdrive

DZ: Home

Home: DZ

Occupation: Skydiver, Facilities Manager, Landscape Architect, Electrician, Geologist, Carpenter, Auto Mechanic, Mason, Urban Planner, OTR Driver, Plumber, Ecologist, Machinist, Civil Engineer, Gardener, Aircraft Body Repairman, Interior Designer, Janitor, Structural Engineer, Steelworker, Groundskeeper, Sous-Chef, Social Worker. (“Who, Me? Yeah, sure, I'm Union.”)

Likes: Family, friends, blue skies, red meat.

Dislikes: Anything that keeps me from enjoying the above.

Idol: Reba McEntire. She's such an inspiration, the way she juggles the stressful life of a single parent with the pressures of being a multi-platinum trillion-dollar country music star. Whenever I think my responsibilities are too much to handle, I just remember Reba, and the hope she has given to so many. Then I remember that I skydive for a living and I think, “Whoa, I am SO much cooler than her!”

Secret to that Rosy Complexion: Monthly Spa Facials in Milwaukee, Weekly exfoliating oatmeal-cucumber masks, and a daily regimen of windburn, sunburn, and jet fuel aromatherapy.

Secret to those Imposing Muscles: Monthly cardio-intensive retreats with a personal trainer, weekly commute to Bally's of Lincoln Park, and a daily regimen of running up and down the stairs and across the DZ unlocking people's doors when they lose their keys.

Skydiving Story:

There comes a time in every boy's life when he must prove his worthiness for the passage into manhood. He must relinquish the frivolity, candor, and capriciousness of childhood in exchange for maturity, poise, and responsibility. In some cultures, this passage is marked by a ritual, such as a quest or celebration. In the culture of northwest suburban Barrington, a boy knows his day has come when a respected elder approaches him somberly and says in a wise and all-knowing voice: “Son, I know you think you're in charge here, but as long as you're on my payroll, you'll do as I say. Understood?” Most boys, having studied the tradition and prepared themselves well for this moment, will respond as they have been taught, saying proudly, “Yes, Sir. I understand. It won't happen again.” These boys are rewarded with acceptance into the culture, and opportunity to excel within it as a man.


	Every now and then, however, comes a rebel who chooses to deny this opportunity. Once, in the ancient days of the 1990s, one such boy responded to his elder by saying, “I'm sorry, but my experience tells me it would really be better done my way.” While no one is certain, legend has it that he was eternally banished from Barrington at this outburst, and was forced to live the rest of his life in frivolity, candor, and capriciousness, with his head in the clouds, surrounded by others who had made the same unfortunate choice, never to appreciate the finer pleasures of maturity, poise, and responsibility. While most are frightened at this fate, some children believe that by rejecting the constraints of his tradition, the rebel learned to fly.